HomeCloser Look ] Alf Home ] Alf Story ] Bottom




Alf to the Rescue - 3

written by Ms. Bobijean Cesnik-Neher


Here's Alffffff.......

Quote from the affable TV Alf

John Davidson (Hollywood Squares): "What do you get if you cross a cow and a buffalo?" 

ALF: "Utter chaos! What do you get if you cross a donkey and a game show host?" 

 John Davidson: "What?" 

ALF: "A smarter game show host."

About the "Luckmeister" Well..........

I think the "Luckmeister" to whom Alf refers is the Tanner Family cat....Lucky. 
Of course it could be
Lucky Luciano of the Cosa Nostra...but he died before Alf appeared on TV.

Hey, is this guy related to the Tanner Family?
What's the Big Cat of Cornell?  It's a Bear not a cat, but it is big!
It's called the Big Red Machine .... That's what Indiana University is called.
IU doesn't have a Mascot ... they are just the Hoosiers.

You know what Hoosier means ....
Some people say it's a contraction of  "who is here?" or "who is there?"
Here's another possibility ....
You see, Indiana could be called the largest orphanage in the world.
Kids just kind of find their way to Indiana ....
When they'd stop and ask for directions to Riverside,

the guy at the hardware would ask them, "Who's your Daddy?"
90% of the kids would say, Idoknow.

Authorities in Indiana have yet to find a man named Ido Know,
but he certainly is prolific, whoever he is!

As for Riverside, it was a great amusement park.
The two big rides .... one was the Flash .... the one above was the Thriller!
All of this under the watchful eye of the Naval Armory ....it's just across the street on the White River!

Perhaps Mr. Ido Know might be James A. Allison or Howard Robard Hughes, Sr. / a/k/a/ Stuart Kramer III.
Allison certainly had a lot of kids in one of his houses .... house #3
James A. Allison, School #3, on 22nd Street .... my school .... one of them anyway.
I went to school #1 and #3

Now back to the Tanner Family Cat!

Of course the "Luckmeister" might be one of those Casino Guys! You know....Monte Carlo, Atlantic City, Vegas

Who do you think the "Luckmeister" is!?!

Time for a commercial break and an Alf Story!
written by Ms. Bobijean Cesnik-Neher 22 February 2010

Lucky came in from a night of tree climbing with a strange looking object.

The cat looked up at Mr. Tanner and asked ....
"What do you think it is?

"Well Lucky, I'm not sure .... Maybe it is Mr. Luciano's writing pen."
Lucky said,
"Well, that's possible.  I know it's not a Perfection Pen."
"What's a Perfecton Pen .... the place where they cage the perfect people?"
No, there was a talking head in the yard ....
he said his name was Allison .... he used to manufacture Perfection Pens ...
He said he'd never seen a pen that looked like this .... and no red ink in his day.

Mr, Tanner looked at the object again and said,
"You know Lucky, it might be the tip of a drill bit."
Lucky replied,
"Well it could be, but what did they use it for, to drill for blood?"
About that time the front door opened all by itself
and a headless man walked in carrying his head.
Mr. Tanner fainted, but it didn't bother Lucky ... he knew who it was,
"Mr. Crane, how are you, I see you finally found your head?
"Yes I finally found it .... I had to look all over the world for it!"
Lucky showed Mr. Crane the object he found in the yard,
and Mr. Crane knew immediately what it was ...
"Oh, that's the final draft of the roller bit drill."
"Mr. Crane .... why's it all red?"
"Lucky .... a lot of people died trying to raise that drill bit,
that's why it's made of diamonds."

Lucky swished his tail a few times, "You know, I read a book once by a woman named Vanderbilt ....
she said they nearly went broke raising horses!
Maybe this is an abstract painting of Ms. Vanderbilt's bank account!
About that time a little girl walked in just crying her heart out,
carrying an odd looking object in her arms.
Lucky screamed,
then passed out on the floor next to Mr. Tanner.

Lucky, Lucky, wake up ..... I can't find my kitty cat! 
At least not all of her!  She lost her head.
Mr. Crane handed the child a handkerchief and said,
"I know how it feels not to have a head, it's very difficult to think."

The little girl looked at the man and said,
"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, what's your name."
"My name is Howard Hughes .... you look like a little girl I once knew."
She looked up at the Mr. Hughes and said,
"My name's Bobbit .... I'm from Indiana .... can you fix my kitty cat?"

Mr. Hughes kneeled next to the little girl .... and a few tears fell from his head ...
"No, there's nothing I can do to bring back the dead ....
but I might be able to get you another kitty cat .... if you could help me with my head?

"Okay .... let me see what I can do ...."  
she laid the kitty cat on the floor next to Alf, who'd been napping all this time;

she turned around one time, clapped her hands three times and said,
"Inka, Binka, Booong!"

Mr. Hughes raised his hands to his neck and said,
"Hmmmm, that seems to have worked ....
my head is back on my shoulders.
Now I can fly up and down and all around ... I can fly all over the world.

Mr. Tanner was finally waking up and so was Alf .... Alf looked at the object beside him, then screamed
"Ahhhh, what happened to Lucky?"
"Don't worry, it's not Lucky, it's my kitty cat that lost her head ....
Lucky is on the other side of Mr. Tanner, Lucky is asleep too!

 Lucky was coming back to life ....

"Alf, you're finally awake .... I'm so glad you're awake. 
You just won't believe what's happened tonight." 

 "Meow, meow."
Mr. Tanner was starting to wake ...
he raised himself to a sitting position on the floor ...
"Meow, meow."
Alf said in a stern tone,
"Look Lucky if you're going to talk, please use words ... I don't understand Meowieze!"
"Alf, I did not meow ... maybe Mr. Tanner is meowing."

About that time the headless object .... the furry one next to Alf ... raised itself to its feet!
The room was silent for a few moments ....
Grroooww .... Grroooww
The little girl looked at Mr. Hughes and asked,
"Is that your tummy growling?
Grroooww .... Grroooww

Mr. Hughes looked up at the door just in time to see a
giant cat walking through the door, a Siberian Tiger ...
The little girl clapped her hands ....
"Oh goodie, my new kitty cat."
Mr. Tanner spoke his last words for the evening ....
"I can't take any more of this"
... then passed out on the floor again!

Mr. Hughes raised his cell phone watch to his mouth and called a number in Detroit ....

Excerpt from Summer Arts Graphis, Green Bay, Wisconsin

"Row Dion ... row ....
this little kitten is now a Big Cat ..... and she knows how to growl!
.... The cat's name, I don't know what the cat's name is ....
let me check with the little girl to see if she's named it yet ... Sweetie, what are you going to name your cat?"

"I was thinking about Ella or maybe Effie .... of course I could name it Bobijean, after me."
"I thought you said your name was Bobbit...."

"Oh, that's just my nickname .... not my real name, my real name is Bobijean.
Mr. Hughes .... I thought you said that was a Siberian Tiger ... they are white not brown!"
"Yes Bobbit, you're right,
but this one has been basking on the beach in the sun,
so it has changed colors."
"Oh, I see Mr. Hughes, you mean it got a
"Yes my dear, the big cat got a suntan."

Lucky looked at Alf and commented,

"Now the Tanner family has two cats! What do you think the big cat eats?"
The room was silent .... Alf looked around at all the startled eyes.
"Undoubtedly .... whatever it wants!"

Note from the author:
An angel .... maybe I am .... I've certainly come close to death a number of times!

There was a lot of talent in the Hughes family .... City of Angels is an excellent book,
but I haven't finished reading it yet!

This page is not about an Alien Life Form, but now that I have your attention, please take a look at my ALF page!


Some are Off and Running....

August 19, 1964 Beatle's first appearance in the United States in San Francisco at the Cow Palace!

Some come to a dead stop....

August 19, 1975, Mark Donohue dies of injuries suffered in a crash during practice at an Austrian Race Track.
He crashed on August 17, 1975, his injuries appeared slight, but 3 days later he died of a brain injuries! 
Donohue won the Indianapolis 500 in 1972.
John Lennon lived in the Dakota Building at 72nd and Central!

The Night Lennon Was Shot

When Lennon signed the "Double Fantasy" Album for Mark David Chapman,
Lennon borrowed Chapman's Bic pen which Chapman purchased
while he was in New York City when he bought a copy of the book "Catcher In The Rye."
For Lennon's signature ... actually Lenne's signature, click HERE!

Alf Bicknell.

Alf Bic knell

When Chapman allegedly shot Lennon, Chapman kneeled!

I wonder, did the NYPD find Lennon's fingerprints on the album and pen?

It is reported on the Morbid-Curiosity that the Lennon Limo did not show up when John and Yoko left for the studio.
They rode with the RKO crew in the RKO limo.
" At 5:00pm John and Yoko left with the RKO crew and accepted a ride with them since their car had not yet arrived. A bespectacled chubby young man, held out one of Lennonís record albums and asked him to autograph it. John accommodated the young man and quickly signed it. Amateur photographer, Paul Goresh (another fan who had sneaked into Johnís bedroom the previous year) snapped the picture of the event." 

Reference to the limo ride home is generic, not specific! 

Does this scenario have a touch of "Final Countdown" to it? 
Was Mr. Tideman in the limo? "Final Countdown" was released August 1, 1980.

Who was driving?

John Lennon traveled to Bermuda on his yacht the Isis July 1980.
This new site I found lists another boat name.
How many John Lennon's were there?
He rented a home from Rolf Luthie and hired Bermudian drummer Andy Newmark.
He returned to New York and in August 1980 began recording "Double Fantasy."

What's it all about Alfie!
It used to be a penny for your thoughts .... now it's a nickel for your thoughts!
You know, inflation!

Atlanta and 5

Atlanta ... the city in which Chapman got the 5 hollow point bullets!

Atlanta ... The area of Beechwood Music Corp, EMI, run my Mike Jackson
(Mike Jackson, also a male with whom I was briefly acquainted.
In September/ October 1986 or 1987 he reportedly killed his Probation Officer,
then traveled through Illinois to Missouri and killed 2 or 3 more people. 
He reportedly died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in a barn in Wright City, Missouri.
Mike did not look exactly like Lennon, but some similar characteristics.)

I wonder if John got to meet the Sail Boat Skipper. I was in Bermuda just 3 years before Lennon was.

This is the Skipper (man in blue shirt), but I'm not the girl at the wheel.


Notice the letters of the Sail Number --- AL .... where's the F?
This is me .... and it was a great voyage, just a half-day cruise.
Here's some of the people on the boat with me .... I don't know any of them.
They seemed to know me however.
I wonder, do I look like one of those preppies from Columbia or one of those staggering angels in Chicago?
I've never been to Columbia and I don't stagger .... drunks stager,
and if your race car is set-up properly for a high-banked oval, the tires must be staggered!
It will help keep you out of the wall!

I saw a man in Ozark, AR, October 6, 2006 .... he looks a little like the Mike Jackson I knew.

I don't know who this man is.

Phantom V name of a Beatles' Limo.

March 1974 - Atlanta the city in which bombs exploded!

July 1996 - Atlanta the bombing at Olympic Park!

The Olympics a Greek Celebration of physical strength!

What's it all about Alfie!?!?


Mark David Chapman the man who allegedly shot Lennon

Jim Chapman the journalist of auto racing

John Chapman the man who sowed the apple seed

Apple, a Beatles' record label!

I wonder, how many Chapman's are there in the world.

In closing ...

I've never seen a Beatles' concert.
I've never met the Beatles.
I've never been to New York!

Sometimes people are drawn into circumstances they do not plan on being a part of.
It is not fair to blame or punish the unknowing guest for the circumstances.
Life is a precious commodity.
The grower, determines the fate of what grows, not the seeder.
Just like Johnny Apple Seed .... he could only spread the seeds,
he could not determine which ones would grow,
there was no way he could determine the fate of every apple.

So it is with life, or so it should be.
Anything beyond that exceeds the limits of the spreader's authority!

One last gem of wisdom:
Don't judge on appearance .... don't assume .... doing so may lead to wrong conclusions.

Life is a precious commodity ... don't waste it!

Answer to my "Luckmeister" question

Go back to the top of this page.

Where's the Limo ? .....


[ Top ] ~ [ Alf Home ]

Site Authorship
Copyright Credits for Reference Sources 
Links - Quotes - Credits

Music:  Sloop John B - Beach Boys   

Last Updated: Tuesday, 06 May 2014
Subject to additions, corrections and change  Page composed on-line, except as noted. All content, graphic and literary works written by Ms. Bobijean Cesnik-Neher, except as noted.  This document is protected by section 410(a) of title 17, United States code, any false representation can lead to prosecution and fine.

This is a not for profit website. All quotes from other sources are cited and listed in quotation